so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
