Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think my moral compass just broke
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
