My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
