I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
