I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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