I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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