Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
