Porn is love you can see.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
