I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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