he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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