On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Me too!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
