quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize