3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
