Just fell off a train. Bad.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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