just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
