I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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