when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
