I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
