you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
