remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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