i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
