you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
