Girls should come with a carfax report
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
