Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
