plz talk dirty to me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
