i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
