found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
