If i come over, it means nothing
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
