I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
