You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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