he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
