The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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