of course. lets lasso hookers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
