Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
