She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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