I wish I could teleport
farters have to be the big spoon...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
