One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
