Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
