He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i already hear my dad disowning me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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