I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
