she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
