Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
