I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
