There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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