I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
