i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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