I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
