I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
