the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
