you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
