I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
