What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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